Saturday, November 13, 2010

I need a replacement

20 days and counting down, then my sister will finally be here! :) I so cannot wait! I have not seen my family since I left Germany in June after I visited my Jasmin in Turkey with my mom. My dad could not go because of work, so I only really spent two days with him. The Saturday I got there (24 hours later than I was supposed to) and the Saturday my mom and I came back from Turkey. This time of the year always makes me think of my family even more and then of course I miss them more as well. I remember that last year I was really sad, because there are certain family traditions that they are doing without me now since I decided to live here in Texas. It is really bitter-sweet sometimes. I love being here, because I love who I have become because I always had the dream to live here eventually ever since I went to High School here in 2001/2002. I did not give up and always worked towards my dream to eventually move here and be happy. As it did not work out in 2007 though, I kind of had to make it work in Germany and with everything I had to do I became who I am today. A lot of people that have met me after I moved here 20 months ago do not know that I used to be a totally different person. I know I have come a long way. After all I was 17 years old as I left Germany to live in a country for a year in which I did not know anybody and I had never been to. I would always do it again.
Anyway, the other day I came to the realization that no one can ever be replaced. You might find a substitute, but you can never 100% replace someone. I was thinking about my dad in particular. (No offense mom.) My dad is very rational, yet he finds the right words in any chosen situation to soothe me when I need it. It could be that the single reason for this is that he is a guy, whereas my mom is a female and we tend to over-analyze things and then exaggerate and do not shut up. I do not know. But I do know that I miss him and the rest of the family as well.

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